Working prayer

Today I am watching How the Lottery Changed My Life on TLC. In my heart I know my time has come to win. I do not have the emotional stress of loving someone who does not return my love. That milestone came for me yesterday. I feel great. I have been sitting today with the knowledge that I shall win the lottery. Last year leaving Pioneer I was not sad for I knew God had big financial things in store for me. I had expected the money to come quick. I blew through several thousand dollars expecting the money to come soon. It did not come in 2010. My casino trip last Friday gave to me a great insight on prayer. I know that I have had to work though much with my family. Lately as I have worked my workout program I have gained more peace. Even when my family has harassed me during my workouts I have been able to remain calm. Today my mother came to me to ask to walk with me on my walks. Life is changing.

I am very careful now in my prayers. I have a paid for home& vehicle. I won the amount of money I desired on the crap table. In all those cases not being specific enough means my gains were lacking total fulfillment. I am now in contemplation on my next prayer. I allowed Timothy to fill out the lotto tickets for me. Staying focused on greater good has allowed me to stay calm in the middle of the storms. Timothy remains my only stress point. However I have hope it will get better with Timothy. I am working on myself, my response to him.

I know that in crafting this next prayer I must be careful. I am taking my time. I wish to make sure I have fully what I desire. I am making sure my desires align with the universe. I shall know when once all of those things feel just right in my stomach. God will let me know.


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Just another day or so it seems

Today was an interesting day. It was not bad or great, it just was. The woman of my dreams confirmed messages of my dreams. I was not numb. I was able to move on with thanksgiving. I saw movement in myself. In that one moment of not rushing to aid her, I put myself first. It felt great.

Standing up lately to my mother’s disjointed demands has prepared me well. I am ready to face the nation. I do feel blessed.

I give thanks for the insight into prayer that I received yesterday. Understanding how to be clear in prayer and how to let go once said is vital. The song Good Love came to me today as I talked with Timothy. We were discussing how I used to sing to him.

Truly, I am one blessed person. I know my brother attempts to goad me. I am able to see his insecurity for what it is and just let it go. He has attempted to upset me using my son. He has gone so far to ridicule my workouts. I give thanks that I have a goal in mind and my mind stays on my goal. My goal is a stable and peaceful home for my son and myself. That goal gets me through these days with my family.

Whew

What a week. My mother shocked me by taking me to the mall to update my professional wardrobe. I have recommitted myself to finishing whatever I start. These ideas come to me for a reason and I must follow through. I had a good day at the tables. Ate free food. Left good tip. It was a good day. I even got paid for doing a job. I was able to get a few things Timothy needed. I am very thankful. Something that I learned today about asking the Universe for anything. Ask. Let it go. Be specific. It had been on my mind for the longest to figure out what/how I asked in the past to have my desire to manifest. The key is to ask knowing that it is already yours. To be able to put aside the fear of not getting that you desire. It seems simple yet it is hard to reach that place or point. Many times our family backgrounds have instilled in us the idea that we must do to achieve. The truth is we must do in accordance to that we wish to achieve. What that means is we must be ready to receive our desire.

Example: a migrant worker desires to be a surgeon. Rather than hold the fear of not being a surgeon, he holds the vision of being a surgeon. He continues with his everyday life. He is out and about. He recognizes the opportunities that will aid him in becoming a surgeon. Even the most challenging of events only serve to make him better appreciate his opportunity.
Another way to tell this story is the Bible's story of the bridesmaids waiting for the groom. They all knew he would come but only some where prepared.

Today was my most valuable lesson in how to pray for results. All these years I have been hitting and missing. I has read the principle many times before. I gas even taken classes. What I had not done was come to understand on a heart level. I am blessed. I am thankful for my lesson in prayer.

I do know I am ready to move. My brother came home around 2:30 AM. He awaken me. It is 4:58 AM as I type this blog post. I am ready to move. I am tired of my brother's and younger cousin's behaviors that are fully supported by my mother. It is time for me to move least my son gets the wrong idea about life.


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I am doing it

Today I awaken,late, but I awoke. Timothy got off to school. Patricia from Pioneer called during my workout. I had dreamed I was having sex with 50cent.

I am glad life is working out as it should. I remained peaceful although presented with opportunities to not be peaceful. I am thankful that God rolls with me.

I actually feel better. I got up got dressed and out of the house. Although, for a moment I felt like staying inside on this very wet grey day, I did not. I am glad I got out of the house to handle my business. My visit to the USDA RD office proved to be very fruitful I shall follow-up on the notes I was given.

Staying blessed. Keeping my mind on the actual goal and allowing all other things to just go by.

Whew another day

I am thankful for this day. After much thought this morning about going to Timothy's school, life opened doors so that I could be at his school today. I talked with the counselor about the incident at the Boys and Girls club Saturday. Timothy was able to see that I was at his school.

I am putting it in the hands of God. Time for me to focus energy on other things.


I am full of faith that God will allow the best to come of this matter.

Thanks for all things

Yesterday was a great day. Today is shaping up to be great also. I sense a melting in my heart regarding my mother. I am feeling less the need to be hard in order to stand my ground with her. It is a good feeling.

I am able to be less defensive when it comes to her. I see this change towards her as a change in my relationship with Jared and Timothy. I am thankful.

I give thanks for all things. God has blessed me greatly. I have a home and a vehicle paid in full. Life is good. I know all things are possible.

Blessed

I was able to awake this morning feeling great. I did my cardio before 6 AM. Cooked breakfast, washed dishes and still got Timothy to school with time to spare. God is good. I give thanks for this day. Blessings abound.


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Major for the day

I have yet to receive a large sum of cash today but I did get an unsolicited "I love you mom" from my son. It is worth it to have the time to sit with him to get him on track academically. I am blessed. God has blessed me greatly to have this time to invest in his well being.

Jan 18 delayed post

This morning as I work on my blog and video for my bog, I overhear my brother giving advice on how to be a pimp. I could only bless him and move on in my spirit. I gave a thought earlier this morning to the development of his misogynist views and behavior. I blessed the thought and him earlier this morning. I moved my thought to the greater good God has for me. I give thanks for my blessings.

I was able to finish my self video for my blog. It was a great feeling to finish the video and to actually like what I captured. Life is good this day. I give thanks to God for the continued insights that are coming to me.

I was turned down for the actual paid job with MoveOn and I wait to hear back from the local radio station. I am not being still however. I was up late last night doing the paper design for the school website. My mother asked if I had the go ahead for the project. I replied no I am just working to be ready for when they contact me. If you truly believe in something then you should prepare for it to occur. Living and walking in faith is an act of courage. I did not know that I had it in me to live openly in faith. I have for so many years kept my faith and spiritual practices to myself. I only share them with those truly in my inner circle.

The only times I would share with those outside my inner circle were when I was either upset or someone share his/her faith with me first. I am now finding it so much easier to share my faith first and with those not in my inner circle. I have great joy in spreading the love God has given to me.

I know that God is positioning me for something that is right for me. I wait in Spirit and I move in faith as so directed by Spirit. It is good to feel God at work. So many events have occurred these last few weeks that continue to allow me to know I moving as God would have me. I have joy. I am able to move from the negative thoughts without effort or lasting feelings of negativity. I am blessed. It is amazing how negative thoughts are coming to me quickly but being repelled just as quickly without effort. I am thankful for the peace of God that resides within me. That peace fills me so that negativity can not take hold. Blessings abound. I am grateful.

Good Day

This morning I awoke giving thanks for what I have. When a thought of no value entered my mind, I blessed it and moved on with ease. Timothy did not fuss when we did not stop at McDonalds. Either he knew we were late or he had a stash of cookies. God bless either way. Giving thanks upon waking can do wonders for your life.

This morning a thought entered my mind about a life philosophy. Be kind to all whom you meet no matter what their circumstances seem to be. You never know where life will lead you or how time will heal the wounds of today.


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God hear my voice

I am tired. Timothy it seems does things just to work my nerves. I know something else is the root problem. I know I am tired. I am very tired. I continue to workout for I know the workouts help. God move me to the greater good. I am done

Thanks be

I give thanks to God for the many blessings I have been given. I give thanks to God for the peace that allows me to reconnect to Spirit throughout the day. I am thankful. I watch as my mother lays the groundwork to have my stepfather admitted to a nursing facility. I step back for I shall not be a part of this mess. Although I do not agree with his actions, his only issue is drinking. He is able to feed himself, know where he is going, know why he is going somewhere, and he still can handle his own business. When he was in the hospital, the swelling around his brain altered his mental capacity. The conversations I have had with him since his release from the hospital do not show anything more than the normal wear on the mind given his age.

My mother is quick to damn another without first calling herself on her own actions. The end does not always justify the means. However, she knows not to call me to be a witness. I am not willing to lie.

On a lighter note, day 6 and I am still working it out on the training. I shall be able to be a part of the marathon in 2012. I shall do some aerobics when we return home. I had a mini bagel with peanut butter this morning and a small glass of juice. I feel good.

Getting the house fixed was the first thing on my mind this morning. Being able to have the funds to fix the house. Peace is my word for the day.

Romans and faith

This morning I finally opened the book Romans. It has been in my mind for a few days. I read chapters 4 & 10.

Faith is the key. It is not works it is faith. I have only gone wrong win I did not have faith in the words of God to my soul. When I allow the outside to influence the inner I go wrong. When I am shooting craps as long as I stay true to the call within then I do well. The moment I take more note of the vibes of those around me I lose every time. The key us faith no matter what appears to be.

God has shown to me again and again in visions and dreams that I should maintain my faith in his words to my heart. What peace we often forfeit for we do not take it to God in prayer.


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Grace of God

God is so good to me. I can not even begin to start on the goodness of God. We have made it through the storms. I am able to move my hands and feet. I am thankful. I can feel God at work. I am knowing all is well. I return again and again to the wisdom given to me in dreams and whispers to my heart. I am thankful. I actually feel that I am on the path designed by God for me. It is a joyous feeling.

MT day 2

Fell off the wagon today. Ate a bag of Doritos. Ice and snow children at home. Watching Auburn play the Ducks. Today I am tired. Did managed to post to blog earlier today. Son did magic tricks. It was a good time. Tomorrow is another day. I still have faith I shall be able to finish training.


I am still unable to get video to upload.

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Opening up

Yesterday under the guise of getting in shape I opened up about myself. I was honest about myself. It felt really good. I am prepared to start today on my path. One step in front of the other. Small steps.

Keeping kids home because of ice in highway. I am happy. Went to sleeping thinking of the Superbowl ticket dream I had had two weeks ago. I awoke after a strange steam of waterfall and twinkle bell type people. I am not sure how it all ties together but after meeting that woman last week in TN I know to pay attention to my dreams.


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MT day 1

Today was my first day if training. Having failed in the past, I know the value of being mentally ready for such an undertaking. I quit my job last year due to health issues brought on by stress. Living at my mother's home has allowed for a reduction of stress but it is still very stressful. However today confirmed that proper planning will allow me to reduce stress and to be successful in my training. I have had several events to occur today, some before 10 AM, to block my success. The joy is proper planning for such roadblocks has allowed me to remain at peace. My mother had tried twice to guilt trip me. My town was placed on a winter storm warning. My perpetually unemployed brother is eating food I purchased for my child. My mother becomes upset when I mention that such behavior is not acceptable, guilt trip. Today I handled all events with true calm. I was able to keep my goal in mind. The only true stressing part of the day was not being able to upload videos. I took a deep breath and resolved to send the videos once the winter storm had cleared. I have consumed 16oz of coffee, 4oz of green smoothie (www.wholeliving.com/action-plan), 32oz of water,12 oz of veg chilli and 6 dorito chips.

I shall get in bed by 10pm. I look forward to the morning. I am also looking forward to finalizing papers on a new home before Friday of this week.


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Thankful

I am thankful for this day. Tomorrow I start my training. I see that I shall have family obstacles to overcome. The good thing is I am able to just throw off the mess they bring to me. I am blessed. I am starting today with a light meal of crackers,sprite, and coco.

I am keeping my spirits up. I know this year is mine. I must stay focused. I can achieve my goals this year. The goals I have had since 1992 are about to be realized. I give thanks to God.

Today is a good day.


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Keeping on

My mother is trying to guilt me into providing for my 30 year old pot smoking brother. I let her know that once I had the deed in hand I was moving. I would not attempt to run her house. I shall focus only on my home. She issued a God threat on me. I know God is ready for me to move. It is my time to do that I am here to do. I shall stay focused. I shall mark out each step I am to make. I know God is with me.


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A few more days

Sunday Timothy said something to me about things changing in two days. When I questioned him deeper about his statement he said it was a slip. I let it go for he thought I was angry but I was not angry. It was just something in his words that rung true with me. Yesterday he said to me that he would like to go to Disney World. I had been thinking since our recent trip to the Silverstar Casino of taking him to Disney.

This morning as I watch my brother shake down a man over drug money owed to him, I knew I had to leave. Getting my son away from this influence is job one. My brother for a black child had all the key ingredients for success unfortunately he also had some failure markers as well.


Today I had no intention on going to Memphis to get a lottery ticket. Yet something encouraged me to go. I am praying for a win. What has me excited is I met a woman who fit my dream of 9/13/2010. She was married to a military man and they had moved recently. They did have an issue with the moving company. We shared lotto numbers. She did not know how to fill out the form. That is how we got to talking. I am sure I was where God wanted me today. She had dream if giving money to sister and I has had dream of putting money in several Hancock branches b
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Blessings everday

Today was a good day. I got some work done. I was able to spend time alone. There were so many things early on this morning that served as stressors, however; during my alone time I was able to review my reactions. Prayer is my constant companion. It is by using prayer that I shall be able to overcome the barriers. I remind myself to focus on the positive more than the crap. Staying focus on positive will allow the positive to become a part of my world. I am done with attracting the negative. God is my guide.


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New Year 2011

I give thanks that we made it through the night. It is funny how life changes your value system. At one point in my life being out on New Year's Eve for a party would have been the thing. At this point in my life being home with my son was the important thing for me.

I have resolutions that I have made public. Video blogging my training for 2012 marathon for Lymphoma and Leukemia Society is one public item. Some resolutions I have not made public. These are the ones that mean the most for my overall development. Controlling my anger tops my personal list of resolutions. Using my wealth wisely is the second item on my list. I have put aside the desire to establish a strong bond with my mother. I have accepted our relationship for what it is. I love her but I can no longer put my life on hold for her. Self-preservation is the key for me this year. I am determine to succeed this year. I shall reach my goals in all areas.

Blessings to one and all.