A new life

Timothy and I spent the night at the Silverstar. I desired a break from home. I needed a moment to think in peace. I am ready for a new start in life. This year started out better than the previous seven years. I have gotten my desires although not in the ways expected. My aim now is to have my desires as desired. I shall struggle no more financially. I shall have better control of self in all aspects of life. My faith in God is my foundations for knowing I shall achieve my goals.

Chill Time

I spent the afternoon chilling with Timothy at the movie theater. We saw Little Fockers and Narnia Voyage of the Dawn Treader. It was good down time. My morning started out rough. I lost patience with everyone. At the heart of the matter, I am still perturbed by my mother's drinking. Visions of her drinking from the bottle kept pouring into my mind most of the morning.

Seeing the movies was good. I was able to put some of the events in my life into perspective. A line in the Narnia movie, "Chasing what was taken and not ejoying what I have been given", struck home for me. I was able to see where I have not taken the time to enjoy what I have been given. I engage in activities that appear to be of enjoyment but are nothing more than me reacting to negative stimuli in my life.

This year will be the first year I keep my New Year's resolutions.

Expectations

When one has no expectations then one is without inner guidance. Like it or not we all have a purpose. Sometimes that purpose is to help guide others to their purposes.

As a parent, it is job one to guide your child. Part of guiding your child is to give to him or her clear expectations. When a child knows what is expected of him/her it sets the ground work for an adult who has a high level of compentency. Muddled expectations leave children without a sure sense of direction. You can expect children to rebel against instructions but when you remain firm they learn the art of guidance.

This thought came to me this morning as I enteracted with my mother and her teenage charge.


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Blessings abound

God is good to me. Christmas day I was able to deliver gifts to loved ones and to spend time with stepfather. His longterm memory is there but his shortterm is shot. I keep thinking of the dream I had over a year ago about his illness.

I know God works.

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God is good

Even when life happens in ways you think are not for your enrichment take faith that God is at work. Last year around this time I was still worrying over quitting my job. I knew in my soul I had to quit yet I was not sure how I would make it financially. It has been almost a year since I was terminated from my job. During that time I have been able to care for my aging parents and my child. I have even had time for my own personal enrichment of career knowledge( IT classes).

Today I am thankful that I am not working for my stepfather is ill and my mother does not wish to stay at this hospital with him.


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Strength

Today I pray for strength to carry on with things. I was unable to get a television for son to play Wii so we returned home. I was looking forward to peace and quite. I keep the faith that something good will come. I did clean house and I have acquired all I desire latley.


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Good Day

Today was a good day. I was able to use Q's car to go to Angie, LA. I got $20 refund from the state of Mississippi. I deposited checks and got money wired to me. Timothy used the gas at the dentist. We were able to volunteer at the Salvation Army. I met a woman older than myself who looked 16. I am doing the gym thing. I also got confirmation from the VA that I do have a dd214. This confirmation came via a job denial at the VA. I shall follow up on it in the morning. Recently I had been thinking of being able to go to church every week. I desired mostly to be able to take Timothy every week. I wait in the spirit. I know something is righting itself in my life. I am thankful and look forward to whatever it is. I know God is able.


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