A new life

Timothy and I spent the night at the Silverstar. I desired a break from home. I needed a moment to think in peace. I am ready for a new start in life. This year started out better than the previous seven years. I have gotten my desires although not in the ways expected. My aim now is to have my desires as desired. I shall struggle no more financially. I shall have better control of self in all aspects of life. My faith in God is my foundations for knowing I shall achieve my goals.

Chill Time

I spent the afternoon chilling with Timothy at the movie theater. We saw Little Fockers and Narnia Voyage of the Dawn Treader. It was good down time. My morning started out rough. I lost patience with everyone. At the heart of the matter, I am still perturbed by my mother's drinking. Visions of her drinking from the bottle kept pouring into my mind most of the morning.

Seeing the movies was good. I was able to put some of the events in my life into perspective. A line in the Narnia movie, "Chasing what was taken and not ejoying what I have been given", struck home for me. I was able to see where I have not taken the time to enjoy what I have been given. I engage in activities that appear to be of enjoyment but are nothing more than me reacting to negative stimuli in my life.

This year will be the first year I keep my New Year's resolutions.

Expectations

When one has no expectations then one is without inner guidance. Like it or not we all have a purpose. Sometimes that purpose is to help guide others to their purposes.

As a parent, it is job one to guide your child. Part of guiding your child is to give to him or her clear expectations. When a child knows what is expected of him/her it sets the ground work for an adult who has a high level of compentency. Muddled expectations leave children without a sure sense of direction. You can expect children to rebel against instructions but when you remain firm they learn the art of guidance.

This thought came to me this morning as I enteracted with my mother and her teenage charge.


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Blessings abound

God is good to me. Christmas day I was able to deliver gifts to loved ones and to spend time with stepfather. His longterm memory is there but his shortterm is shot. I keep thinking of the dream I had over a year ago about his illness.

I know God works.

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God is good

Even when life happens in ways you think are not for your enrichment take faith that God is at work. Last year around this time I was still worrying over quitting my job. I knew in my soul I had to quit yet I was not sure how I would make it financially. It has been almost a year since I was terminated from my job. During that time I have been able to care for my aging parents and my child. I have even had time for my own personal enrichment of career knowledge( IT classes).

Today I am thankful that I am not working for my stepfather is ill and my mother does not wish to stay at this hospital with him.


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Strength

Today I pray for strength to carry on with things. I was unable to get a television for son to play Wii so we returned home. I was looking forward to peace and quite. I keep the faith that something good will come. I did clean house and I have acquired all I desire latley.


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Good Day

Today was a good day. I was able to use Q's car to go to Angie, LA. I got $20 refund from the state of Mississippi. I deposited checks and got money wired to me. Timothy used the gas at the dentist. We were able to volunteer at the Salvation Army. I met a woman older than myself who looked 16. I am doing the gym thing. I also got confirmation from the VA that I do have a dd214. This confirmation came via a job denial at the VA. I shall follow up on it in the morning. Recently I had been thinking of being able to go to church every week. I desired mostly to be able to take Timothy every week. I wait in the spirit. I know something is righting itself in my life. I am thankful and look forward to whatever it is. I know God is able.


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Thankfulness

I am thankful. Something told me to expect money. When I went to the mailbox early Saturday morning money was there. Late Saturday night I got an email notification that I had more money coming. God is good to me. As I washed my hair I was thinking of how to have money to give away. After my shower I got noticed that getting money to give away to someone was not my concern. I am blessed. I am thankful for the good God has put before me. Although I question my movement in Christ, I am constantly given signs that I am on the right path. Thanks God


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Good Day

Today was a good day. Although I only accomplished one goal, getting baked goods to son's school, it was a great day. I am blessed to have been in this day. I am having more ideas come to mind as I work out how to get things going on the creative projects I have.

Wagon Wheel

Yesterday the wheel came off my wagon and I fell off. I gambled more than I should have. I did not leave when I should have. At the root I am upset about my living situation and my relationship with my son. Gambling I know will not resolve either one. I must not allow temporary setbacks in either to send me spirialing. It is hard. Even when I attempt to be silent I still hear only my thoughts. I must make more time for silent time with God throughout the day


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Staying Faith Full

Some days it is hard to keep the faith. Yet when I see the words of God to my soul manifest I am encouraged to stay on task. The issue of the 1 acre should be resolved by week's end. I maintain in God's words to my soul on all things.


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Help

Today I find I am still upset. I am angry for being here at my mother's. I am upset with my mother's continued drinking. I am upset with my son for taking in all of the garbage around him. I am trying to maintain faith. I know we need to move or at the least I need to move Timothy. The latter choice upsets me the most. I do not desire to be apart from him. God I call on you in this hour.


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Waking Thought

This morning I am thankful. I awaken perturbed that the money Arthur said was coming is not there I feel stupid for changing my plans. However, I am keeping my hopes up. I know God has something planned for my greater good.


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Blessings continue

I spent the morning working to get the blinds up at Mr Willie's. Finally glued the bracket to the wood.

BJ called to ask about his things. He is upset with Shannon threaten her and her family over a set of coveralls. He must let go of his anger.

My mother smokes and smokes

I saw in paper 30k grant to have a home built. I shall apply in the morning. God is good and I continue to be blessed. Thanks God.

I shall not fret over money maters. God has assured me a win in regards to money.


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Life is good

I had a good day today. Treated my mother to lunch. Helped my stepfather play the slots. My truck did not quit on me. Is this the calm before the storm? I am at peace. I am thankful.

Blessings today

I am not sure what us going on with my brother. I just say a prayer of protection for him. I pray for Timothy's continued good health. I breathe as I prepare to return to the house. God bless all and may the joys of the day be made known to me


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Staying in the spirit

I am doing my best to stay in the spirit. My mother is still controlling. The good thing is I no longer feel guilty about rebuffing her attempts. I did lose my cool when I learned she had used my cheese for her recipie. I told her I was leaving even if in a pine box. I go Timothy goes to Dylester. I still regret ever bringing him around her. I now understand that you are not required to be around biological family. My prayer to God is for a better home of our own. A home filled with love,joy, peace and health. It is time.


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Going the distance

Something I have learned lately is to not give up hope. In order to succeed you must not give up when things seem to be hard. Although you may have trusted friends and family telling you to give up turn to God for guidance.
Lately I think of the website I had starts 7 years ago. Had I stuck with it I would have been better off. I do not beat myself over giving up so long ago for I know God had other things planned. I still had more growth to experience. I feel it is now time. This down time has allowed me to understand the errors I have made in the past. Most importantly I have learned how not to feel obligated to others. I walk now in the spirit of one who knows freedom.


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God's beauty

I am thankful. I have wanted to join a certain gym. I was not sure how I could pay it on UI. A gf sent a message to me yesterday that a health study was going on here. I called the number she had sent to me , it was the heslthclub I wished to join. I shall go by later to see if they still have room. I left a message. God is good. I am learning to be more specific in my desires.


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God's Angels

Yesterday as Timothy and I shared a meal at a fast food place, a man walked over to us. He wanted to know if we wanted a ham because he had so much ham leftover. I thanked him for the offer but said no thanks.

It was nice of him to offer. I smile to think of his generousity. God bless that man and his family.


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