After the storm

This morning is evidence of Grace. We are alive and well after 3 funnel producing stroms set their sights on my hometown. The areas on the edge of town were hit. God bless everyone. It is good.

I saw this morning that my mother had given up a portion of her inheiritence to my uncle in exchange for his putting an element into the water heater for my brother. On the surface I am ticked but in my heart I know God will prevail. I give thanks that God has provide for me s home of my own that is filled with joy, love, and peace. I know to keep my focus on that which God has for me. I am thankful to be able to rear my son in the manner I desired before his birth. I give thanks that he will be the man of help to others one day. I am thankful.


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Blessed Morning

I awaken this morning refreshed. I had a great night's sleep. I give thanks for perfect rest. Peace is something we should not take for granted.

I am thankful.


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What to do?

I have had certain dreams lately involving a certain person. I have not spoken with this person in 8 days. Should I contact them or not? That is the question.

I this person with someone other than me. In my waking life I accept and acknowlege it as being right. However on a spiritual level it seems off.

I hesitate to contact her for fear she will think I am sweating her. However I am done with the sweating of her. I am moving on with my life. I think maybe the dreams are just my way of letting go of her.


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Early Morning at McDonalds

I am sitting with my son. His attitude at times stresses me. Howeve, this morning I have let him know that stressing me will only lead to not doing other things later in the day.

Being upfront with people often lessens the amount of stress in your life. I am one to not enjoy stress.

I understand the less I seek to control others the greater my control of self. The more I control self the greater I influence the behavior of others for the better.


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Fear No More

Tonight my mother is still in an argumentative mood. I understand some of her frustration however this is a situation she created. Lashing out at me will do nothing to resolve her problems. My internalizing the hurt from her lashing out at me only serves to hurt my progress. I therefore take the time to chill in a manner that is beneficial to me. I blog. I look forward to the day that the work I am putting in now pays off for me. I am ready to move forward. I no longer have the fear of poverty. I truly have worked my way through it all. Part of my turning 40 has been being able to release much of the fear that had taken hold of me. Recently I had to let go of the fear of my son loving my mother more than me. I came to understand that it really does not matter for I shall love him anyway. He is free to love as ge does it is just my job as his mom to love him anyway.
Fear if you allow it will keep you frozen in time. If it is your destiny to move then you must shake loose the fear or you will become crazy. I choose to stay sane and to meet my future head on. Thanks God for the blessings given to me. I thank you for peace and for joy.


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Morning Grits

I awaken late this morning, having been up all night. I shared with my online group my step on faith to leave my job last year. Although the material gains I had envision have yet to appear, I have had spiritual gains that will allow me to appreciate all that God has for me. My spiritual gains allow me to now be a steward of the monies given to me in grace.

The biggest gain I have had is being ok with leaving my biological family. I am ok with their being on their own. I no longer have guilt associated with making such a move. It is to my betterment.

God works all one must do is believe.


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Stumble

I am so very tired. I had promised myself that I would remain calm no matter what my mother did. Within 2 hours of that promise to myself, I had lost control over her behavior. I have not worked on my novel these past few days. I am tired. I am so very tired. It moments such as these that try my patience. I find myself using my brain to figure out how to get away from here more than actually writing my novel. By the time my mother leaves the house, I am drained. God help me from this mess. I will not put myself back into it.


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Still thankful

This morning I give thanks for continued peace. Although my mother came home this morning looking for a fight, peace maintained itself. She could only fuss about her wig being in the floor.

God is good. I am thankful for the time to write. I am thankful for the words that come to mind to be placed in paper.

I shall rest in the love of God. Knowing that life does not end based on one error I have hope for a better life. I use this moment to make my life better


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Repost Faith

In the weeks following my start of this blog, my life seemed to be turned upside down. It has been several weeks since I have posted anything to this blog. Recently I have been guided to post again to this blog. I have been reminded that God has me no matter what seems to be. I shall keep this blog updated daily with my experiences. God Bless


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Thanksgiving Faith

The reason I entitled this blog " Faith Filled Days" is everyday I find myself living on faith. It is even more true since I return to my mother's home.
As a child I did not like being home. Home was filled with discourse, guns, and hate. I did all I could as a teenager to not be home. A lady in my hometown endured being labled a child molester just so I could have a few moments of peace.
This morning, Thanksgiving in the U.S., I awaken to my mother prepping her handgun. She was preparing to shoot the gun to get my brother to come over to her house. True to form my brother who did not answer his phone came running at the sound of the gunshots.
My younger cousin, for whom my mother is the guardian, had hid television blasting before 7AM. He has turned out to be rude. My mother has a way of allowing good boys to get stuck on stupid. It is in this vein that I find myself in prayer.
My prayer is in regards to my son. I am in prayer that being here at my mother's does not influence him to become stick on stupid as well. It is only the word of God to my heart prior to his birth that gives hope to me each day. I stand on faith each day that my son will rise above the influence to become a great man of influence.


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Storms

It is imporant to weather the storms. To do so one must have faith in God to prevail. My family is currently battling substance abuse. Never knowing what emotional outburst the day will bring. When I had my son it wad not my intent for him to have this experience.

Although he is not abusing any substance those around him cause him to not have the stability I desired for his childhood. I accept my part in this drama. Had I not had my own addiction I would have been able to shield h from this part of life.

However, as I prayed last nightni thought how this may serve as a blessing. Because of the alcoholism that runs in my family, I am very aware of how much I drink.

When you think life is giving to you the finger it may be the whole hand. It is important to continue to be able to see past the junk. Pray is the vehicle that allows clarity into our lives.


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Grace of God

This morning I awaken from a dream that was both sad and happy. I had no idea that within 10 minutes of waking I would be on the phone with the police. After the incident with the police I took time to pray. I took time to give thanks.

I continue in faith that God has me. I know God has made a way out of no way. I hold tight to the words of God to my soul. I know
God will be on time.

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Blessings

Tonight I look at the moon. I am thankful to have a peaceful place to enjoy the light of the full moon. I also give thanks for being able to see the various constellations. Although it may seem small, I was not able to enjoy such sights living in a large city. Being in the rule area reminds me of my blessing to see the moon and the stars.




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First things first

This morning when I awoke, I was confronted with negativity. My first move was to be negative as well. However I came to realize that by staying in spirit I would rise above the matter. My day did not turn out without bumps but I did stay aware. I am responsible for my actions and my inactions.

By taking time out during the day, I can remain connected to spirit. Staying connected to spirit I am able to stay on task.


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Back on Track

In the weeks following my start of this blog, my life seemed to be turned upside down. It has been several weeks since I have posted anything to this blog. Recently I have been guided to post again to this blog. I have been reminded that God has me no matter what seems to be. I shall keep this blog updated daily with my experiences. God Bless


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